Jamie Lockwood | Updates

Newly Unwed

Jamie Lockwood — Wed, 12 Nov 2025 12:25:50 -0500

“They say marriage is worth celebrating—but so is surviving one.”

When my divorce was finalized, I threw myself a party, baked a cake, and impaled a Ken doll in buttercream. What started as a night of tequila and freedom turned into one of my favorite redemption stories: Newly Unwed.

]]>

Ten Years Down the Road...

Jamie Lockwood — Fri, 30 Jan 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Today, January 30, is an anniversary for me.

It's been 10 years since I broke up with my abuser, kicked him out for good, and finally started choosing myself.

It only took him a day to find a new apartment, yet 2 days later, he tried to spend the night on my couch. When I told him to leave, he threw me into a wall and gave me a massive concussion. I would not begin to recover from the brain damage for 6 months.

It was at least the fourth time I had called the police on him, and the only time I ever wrote a victim statement. He would be arrested and given a Delayed Acceptance of a Guilty Plea (DAGP), which would drop the felony battery charges against him if he just behaved himself.

But he couldn't. Later that year, he did it again to another woman who also ended up in the hospital with injuries.

He was convicted with the felony and sentenced to jail time.

The punishment?

12 days. TWELVE days, for 3 years of the hell he put me through. 12 days on a program which allowed him to drive himself to work, for which they packed him two meals a day.

His complaint?

“I’ve never been so bored in my life”

What I wouldn’t have given to have been BORED for 12 days straight!!

My life then, and for the next several years, would be pure chaos.

I had been gaslit and manipulated by a violent, racist, homophobic, generally bigoted narcissist. I don’t even recognize the dramatic, narrow-minded, and even at one point, slut-shaming person I was. I just attracted the chaos.

That is NOT the Jamie that I know.

He had duped me from the beginning – because I originally knew my values, what I stood for, and also that we were “crazy” in love… so I sat him down.

I shared what I cared about (BLM, LGBTQIA+, pro-choice, women’s lib, etc) and he looked me in the eyes and said he agreed with me, that we were perfectly aligned.

He stood and still stands for literally the opposite of all that.

Do not be fooled, relationships do not “become abusive”. There isn’t suddenly a motive to brainwash, gaslight, manipulate, control, and harm. Abusers TARGET their marks and pretend to be whoever they must in order to gain initial trust.

I understand NOW how I didn’t “fall for” anything, I believed what was before my eyes, not realizing it was a façade. I believed it until I couldn’t believe anything anymore-- until he had played with my emotions, destroyed my trust in myself, and dissolved any sense of self worth to the point where I was dependent on the belief that he, who regularly hurt me then blamed me for it, could possibly love me.

And so, on January 30, 2016, it was finally verbalized:

“You never loved me, did you. Just admit it”

For the first time in 3 years, I trusted what he said:

“No, I never did. I think I just wanted to spite my ex by being with you”

I was a tool to him… a toy. Nothing more than a worthless punching bag to be discarded after too much wear.

*to HIM*

To ME?

Goddammit, I deserved better.

While we went through the legal custody process, he tried everything to try and apologize and win me back. I had so deeply trauma-bonded with him that I actually missed him and considered accepting him again (the thought today makes me sick), but one fundamental thought kept me afloat:

I could be 10 years down the road, exactly here. Miserable. Smaller. Living in constant fear and stress.

Or I could take the gamble of doing the thing everyone warns you not to do…

Staying looks “easier”... Easier than the relentless exhaustion of single motherhood. Easier than doing everything alone. Easier than being overworked, underpaid, and invisible.

I chose the harder road because staying would have cost me my life in slow, quiet ways, and because my daughter deserved a mother who was alive, not just enduring.

Here we are, 10 years down the road.

In my tiny nook of the world, things are beautiful. I am privileged to be safe and stable with my family amidst everything going on outside.

I am safe, sound, and calm in love. I am beyond grateful to now have 2 incredible daughters who keep that fire lit inside me to ALWAYS recognize my worth, and never diminish myself again. For anyone.

]]>

Love Doesn’t Hurt: Why D.A. Awareness Matters

Jamie Lockwood — Tue, 30 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0000

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month — a time set aside to shed light on an issue that too often hides in the shadows. For me, this month isn’t just a spot on the calendar; it’s a reminder of why awareness matters so deeply. Abuse thrives in silence, and the more we talk about it, the more we break down the shame and isolation that keep survivors feeling trapped.

This year, I’m marking the month in a very personal way: by donating copies of my book, Putting Myself Back Together: From Broken to Healed After Abuse, to survivors and clinics. My hope is that these stories will reach people who need encouragement most, reminding them that they are not alone and that healing is possible.

If you’ve never experienced domestic violence yourself, it might feel like something distant, something that happens “somewhere else” to “other people.” But the truth is, it’s happening everywhere — in our neighborhoods, in our workplaces, even in our families. Sometimes it’s happening right in front of us, and we don’t see it because we’ve never been taught what to look for.

That’s why this month matters. It’s a chance to open our eyes, open our hearts, and remember that every story matters.

With love and strength,

Jamie

]]>

Booked Eau Claire 2025

Jamie Lockwood — Sun, 14 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0000

This past weekend was nothing short of incredible. Walking into the book convention, I knew it would be a busy, inspiring event—but I wasn’t prepared for just how much it would fill my heart. The energy in the room was electric: authors sharing their journeys, vendors showcasing their creativity, and readers eager to connect with stories that moved them. Everywhere I turned, there was kindness, talent, and genuine excitement.

To everyone who stopped by my table, shared a moment, or swapped a story: thank you. You made this weekend unforgettable, and I can’t wait to see where the next chapter leads.

With love and strength,

Jamie

]]>

Signing Author at Booked Eau Claire!

Jamie Lockwood — Sun, 1 Sep 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Jamie Lockwood will be featured as a signing author at Eau Claire's first book convention! The event takes place September 12th & 13th 2025 at the Pablo Center at the Confluence. Our guest speaking author is Abby Jimenez! You don't want to miss this!

]]>

Document, document, document!

Jamie Lockwood — Sun, 2 Feb 2025 00:00:00 +0000

February 1st was the nine year anniversary of the worst and best night of my life. I feared for my and my daughter's life as my abuser got more and more violent with me and then tried to go for my daughter's room. I ended up in the hospital with a concussion, my daughter was thankfully untouched but terrified, and my abuser was arrested. Seven years ago I mustered the courage to finally share my story publicly and I will NEVER stop sharing, educating, and doing my part to end domestic abuse.

Documenting is also extremely important for yourself. Abusers and narcissists (often one in the same) will almost always gaslight and manipulate their victims. The goal is for the person experiencing the abuse to doubt their reality-- to question whether what is happening is real or not. Keeping record of everything that happens can help validate what you're going through and remind you that yes, these are not just one-offs, they are a pattern of behavior.

I acknowledge that this can be extremely emotionally taxing, but it is one of the most important and valuable steps you can take for your future.

Always, with love and empowerment,

Jamie

]]>

Book Reading and Signing

Jamie Lockwood — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Jamie Lockwood will be at the Altoona Public Library on November 13 for a book reading and signing event! Come enjoy some light refreshments and hear a snippet of her debut memoir, "Putting Myself Back Together: From Broken to Healed After Abuse".

Doors open at 6:30pm!

]]>

Book Reading and Signing

Jamie Lockwood — Wed, 2 Oct 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Jamie Lockwood will be at the Augusta Public Library on November 6 from 6:00pm-7:30 for a book reading and signing event! Come join us!

]]>